Introduction
I’m a gay man who came out publicly at the age of 55, a bit more than 6 years ago as of this writing. How I got into this situation is a long and stupid story about a sheltered upbringing, rural, conservative communties, social expectations thereof, and psychological naivete. I’ll expand upon that background over time, but for now it is sufficient to say that between the advent of the 21st century and my own passing of the half century mark, I am finally committing to accepting and embracing who I am, and minimizing and repairing the damage I do and have done in my life as a result of the time that I spent in the closet.
By default, I’m quiet and somewhat reserved until you get to know me (and I get to know you); I tend towards introversion, although I can be outgoing among people I am comfortable with. Online and in some social performance modes, I am an activist and an educator, given to provocative imagery – verbal and otherwise – to shove people out of their comfort zones and into confronting their unknown or unacknowledged biases and assumptions. Lurking beneath and fueling that dichotomy is a sly and frequently goofy sense of humor.
I am a direct, objective, pragmatic, somewhat jaded, and deeply cynical problem-solver; as a result, I tend to create circumstances where I am in control, and I take very little for granted while assuming that everyone has an agenda. I observe far more than I mention, and I am entirely happy to let people draw incorrect conclusions about me… letting them do so puts me into a position of power. However, a warm, gooey center lurks beneath the gruff, brusque, sarcastic and calculated facade. I am eminently worth knowing if you can get past the prickly bits; loyal to a fault, mildly (but exuberantly) hedonistic, and at times mercilessly authentic. I look for people who can meet me at my own level, and value me for who I am, rather than for who their ego or agenda needs me to be.
Hobby-wise, I enjoy movies, videos, web surfing, reading, photography, bicycling, hiking, snowshoeing, urban exploration, food, beer, wine, whiskey (Irish & Scotch) and most forms of music; I’ve been known to follow college football and hockey but don’t really pay close attention to professional sports. I’m an Olympics junkie every other year; I am a closet musical theater queen.
Finally, and perhaps most importantly, I am an iconoclast. A lifetime of trying to conform to arbitrary social standards defining a person I categorically am not has left me with a deep and profound contempt for programmed expectations and stereotypes. I’ve realized that there is no right way to be, and to be gay. I am, and I am gay, and that is enough. If I don’t fit your mold, too bad for you; you need to broaden your expectations.
The world is populated exclusively by people who do not live in your mirror, whether you like it or not, whether you accept it or not, and whether you deal with it – or not.
